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Joke of the Day

"I get all my cardio from sex.... That's why I'm so fat."

"What does an amoeba call its friend? Cell mate."

"How do you blindfold an Asian person? You put floss over his eyes."

"The other day my daughter said, ""Mold is so gross."" I told her to ""respect its culture."""

"And now, a poem. Roses are red. Violets are blue. Violet is a shade of purple, so you're a lying whore."

"A blind guy walks into a bar... And into a table.. and a chair..."

"I'm starting a business in Indiana; we do paternity tests and private investigations. It's called ""Hoosier Daddy and What Does He Do?"""

"Nuff said? No seriously, what did Nuff say?"

"""It's not you, it's me."" -Twins looking at some family photos"

"Doctor, doctor... I have a cold and feel like I'm about to explode... ...well sit down and blow your nose up!"