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Joke of the Day

"What do you call a loaf of grumpy bread? Sourdough!"

"Did you guys hear about Joan Rivers? The mortuary got $32 at the recycling center for her body."

"what's a good pick-up line in a gay bar? Can I push your stool in?"

"Sometimes I drink to cure my malaise. If I get drunk this Friday because I am bummed about the end of the world, am I getting sauced because of Mayan-aise?"

"New Band I recently started a new band: We have to play every song in a certain order and we all have to be symmetrical on stage. We're called OC/DC."

"Treat your woman like a princess. Spice up your relationship & have her kidnapped. Then do mushrooms & swim through the sewers to find her."

"Happy to report that I just made People magazine's list of top 100 million people on Twitter."

"Things Ted Cruz and I have in common: 1. Love butter 2. Shy eyes 3. Resurrected from the grave during satanic bloodmoon ritual 4. Brown hair"

"What do you get if you cross a joke with a rhetorical question?"

"What does a Mexican duck say? Guac guac"