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Joke of the Day

"Cat is hissing at nothing in the kitchen. Based on horror movies I've seen nothing good can come of this, but I'm a white guy so I'll stay."

"When Montell Jordan introduces you to his friends, but your name sounds like a title to one of his songs... ""This is Howie Dewitt!"""

"What do you call an evil wizard who gives good hickeys? A neck romancer."

"What is Hillary Clintons favorite type of footwear? flip-flops"

"My wife looks like the cats in those cucumber videos when she turns around & sees me naked."

"What is Relative Humidity? The sweat on your balls when you screw your cousin."

"What do you call a family that runs a gas station? Pump kin."

"Sometimes I want to ask certain people, ""So you looked in the mirror and thought you looked good enough to go outside?"""

"Barksy, it's like Banksy, but he's a dog. Now I just sit back and watch the retweets roll in."

"What's the fastest liquid on earth? Milk. It's pasteurized before you see it."