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Joke of the Day

"""Hi, I'm here for Paradox Club."" Actually this is Oxymoron Club. ""Ok, same difference."" *looks at group* Oh, this guy is good."

"Your momma's so fat... ...that when I asked her what her what her favorite time of the year was, she said, ""dinner time."""

"Where there's a will there's an ""OMG! What's it say!? What does it say?""."

"Kim Jong-il became Kim jong-ded Now Kim Jong-Un with his wife who has vanished from public since 7 months, might be having a Kim Yung-Un"

"WIFE: Stop spending all our money ME: Okay, fine [later] WIFE: *visibly angry* WTF? ME: *zooming by on a new Segway* RELAX KAREN, I STOLE IT"

"Horton must be a first base coach... Since he hears a who."

"The flag in the moon is fading into an all white flag Future generations will believe the French were there."

"Crazy that we could end poverty by having an airplane drop thousands of inspirational quotes from Facebook on a 3rd world village."

"7: ""Mama, if someone licked the treadmill, would that someone get sick?"" Me: ""Are you the someone?"" 7: ""Maybe"" Holy hell."

"A guy walks into a bar... and his alcoholism tears his family apart."