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Joke of the Day

"My wife is so stupid... She thought that I was a racist because I separated my whites from my colors."

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"A dad walks into a zoo.. A dad walks into a zoo. He sees the only animal is a dog and says ""Well, this is a shitzu"""
"I asked my friend to try and jump start my car. Fat bastard smashed my windshield."
"What's it called when a cow attempts to jump a barbed-wire fence? An udder disaster"
"Why aren't snowmen called snow women? Because they're in the kitchen melting."
"I was so surprised when he said those three little words to me: ""You're embarrassingly bad at math. This is over."""
"As the judge said to the dentist: Do you swear to pull the tooth the whole tooth and nothing but the tooth?"
"Animal Crackers... ... despised by gluten-free people and vegans"
"I visited my doctor last week, and he told me I had to stop masturbating. I asked him why, surely it's not dangerous. He said it was distracting him."
"Why don't many Greek men move to other countries? They don't want to leave their brothers behind"
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