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Joke of the Day
"Animal Crackers... ... despised by gluten-free people and vegans"
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"Can you smell mothballs? I can't. I can never get their legs far enough apart."
"Snake walks into a bar... Bartender says ""How'd you do that?"""
"If I got $1 every time a woman said I was't her type, I could lead in the Republican Primary polls."
"Who's in charge of all the liquid measurements? The liter."
"So someone asks a junkie.. Do you still use heroin? Well.. On the one hand yes, on the other hand no."
"Girls giving blowjobs for Louboutins - Whatcha call that? Head over heels."
"What do you get when you cross an elephant with a grape? Elephant grape sine theta."
"Two cows are standing on a hill.... One turns to the other and says ""Hey, aren't you worried about mad cow disease?"" The other replies, ""Why should I care? I'm a helicopter!"""
"What did the astronaut say to his girlfriend? I need space."