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Joke of the Day

"I was drinking at the bar, so I took a bus home. That may not be a big deal to you, but I've never driven a bus before!"

"What do you call a hard working machine? Juan Deer"

"I'm sick of reading them, these vagina jokes have got to stop Period."

"Just saw the Lego Movie... ...it was very well *pieced* together! (Got this off Doug Benson's 'Doug Loves Movies' podcast)"

"Is venison deer? No really. Only paid a couple of bucks."

"Christ, you're ENORRRRMUS!! What did the leprechaun say when he met Jesus?"

"I asked my friend if he could tell me the chemical symbol for Neptunium He said it wasn't a problem but hasn't replied since"

"[Therapist's office] Husband: She takes everything, literally T: What do you mean? *Me walking out the door w/ the floor lamp I'm stealing*"

"What's the difference between a dirty bus stop and a lobster with breast implants? One's a crusty bus station and the other is a busty crustacean."

"What do you call a dog with no hind legs and brass balls? Sparky"