128547

Joke of the Day

"I'm sick of reading them, these vagina jokes have got to stop Period."

"There is a new Barbie doll on the market - Hiroshima Barbie ...just a shadow of her former self"

"Cop: What's the hurry? Me: Nothing officer - Just didn't want to slow you down. Cop: I was pulling you over. Me: Well I get that. Now."

"I want to be as annoying as a vegetarian but still eat meat so I'm telling people I only eat chicken. I'm calling myself a ""poultrivore""."

"When you have children yourself, you begin to understand what you owe your parents."

"Are you Jewish? Because your body's smokin ;)"

"Bartender says, ""We don't serve time travelers."" A time traveler walks into a bar..."

"Me: Have fun on your date. Son: What if she drinks too much, or gets high? Me: You really aren't my kid are you?"

"*job interview* ""Where do you see yourself in five years?"" ""Mirrors, puddles of water. Basically anything with a reflective surface."""

"Cars Why do lazy people only drive automatics? Because they're shiftless."