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Joke of the Day

"[Therapist's office] Husband: She takes everything, literally T: What do you mean? *Me walking out the door w/ the floor lamp I'm stealing*"

"What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? u/ShittyJokeExplainBot's explanations."

"Why are Werewolves such pessimists? They refuse to look at the silver lining."

"Why did the duck fly Because he was high on Quack"

"A man goes to a prostitute and later he finds out he has crabs. When he goes back to complain, the prostitute says ""It was only five dollars, what did you expect, lobster?"""

"How many gays does it take to change a lightbulb? [removed]"

"Thanks a lot Apple, for calling 7 inches a mini."

"Playing dodgeball with kids is harder than it looks cause you have to throw them with both hands."

"I've never thought about suicide until now... But it might cheer me up if you tried."

"One iPhone in an Apple Two iPhones is a pear."