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Joke of the Day

"I asked my friend if he could tell me the chemical symbol for Neptunium He said it wasn't a problem but hasn't replied since"

"If pigs really could fly I bet their wings would taste delicious."

"A very curious kid Kid: ""Papa, are you growing taller all the time?"" Father: ""No, my child. Why do you ask?"" Kid: ""Because the top of your head is poking up through your hair."""

"An Indian friend of mine used to hit his wife every night at 7.30... ..on the dot."

"My parents tell me to stop being a smart-alec... ...that's when I respond with ""My name's Tyler..."""

"Chinese woman pray before releasing fishes in Paris river la Seine when https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8G77aVXoxTk"

"Jesus drove a Honda, but nobody knew about it. For I did not speak of my own accord. - John 12:49"

"My left hand is dominant. Sometimes it spanks my right one."

"sometimes i cry when i chop vegetables other than onions, just so the onions don't think they're ugly or something"

"Pro tip: most pro tips are given by amateurs."