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Joke of the Day

"Sometimes I go on WebMD to see what I'm currently dying of."

"""Daddy, there's a mime under the bed!"" That's ridiculous, why would you think that? ""Listen!"" *complete silence* OH DEAR GOD RUN"

"A: ""What is the integral of 1/cabin?"" B: ""Log cabin!"" A: ""Nope, Houseboat. You forgot the C."""

"What did the asian couple name their black baby? Sum sing wong"

"There are three kinds of people in the world, Those who are good at math and those who aren't."

"It's good Michelangelo wasn't around for twitter. Be a bummer to see him rt'ing whenever someone said how majestic the Sistine Chapel was."

"Living well isn't the best revenge. A crowbar to the head is the best revenge."

"After years of intense research, I have come to the conclusion that dryer lint is actually the cremated remains of all my other socks."

"""Are you cold?"" *People who are cold*"

"I know a bunch of guys who are like Christian Grey but without the money and the handsomeness. They're in jail."