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Joke of the Day

"""Daddy, there's a mime under the bed!"" That's ridiculous, why would you think that? ""Listen!"" *complete silence* OH DEAR GOD RUN"

"Heard this on NPR- Did you hear about the guy who got the left side of his body cut off? He's all right though."

"There is a new Barbie doll on the market - Siamese Twins Barbie ...complete with surgical instruments"

"Once I walked across a road when the light was red. I felt so bad I went back and waited for the light to turn green."

"What do you call a man with a seagull on his head? Cliff"

"Why can you only drown a hipster in a tributary? Because, it isn't mainstream."

"I climbed a mountain yesterday Things were looking up until I got to the summit. It was all downhill from there."

"What would the Pilsbury Doughboy be if photos of him were constantly being put on magazine covers? A roll model."

"Does Hilary's scandal compare to Bill's? I'd say it's close, but no cigar."

"There are two kinds of people in the world: Those that can extrapolate from missing information."