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Joke of the Day

"""Daddy, there's a mime under the bed!"" That's ridiculous, why would you think that? ""Listen!"" *complete silence* OH DEAR GOD RUN"

"North Korea's ability to go through with its threats are as poor as the punchline of this joke."

"A woman always worries about the things that men forget and men always worry about the things women remember."

"What do you call it when a group of ghosts rob a bank? A polterheist."

"Why do we never see ""Side effects may include spontaneous happiness, explosive giggling, uncontrollable hugging, and diarrhea""?"

"My brother got kicked out of his house by his wife for measuring his penis. For the record, it reaches the back of her sister's throat."

"I tried to sign up to a website yesterday. I put in the password 'beefstew' But it said the password wasn't stroganoff."

"I hope there will be a riot where I live... I really want to have an Xbox one and a new TV."

"What do Bernie Sanders and the Statue of Liberty have in common? Common people sent both of them pennies to help build a foundation for liberty."

"What's Rick Ross's favorite nursery rhyme? Ring Around the Rooooozaaay."