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Joke of the Day

"I read in the local paper someone was going around pickpocketing midgets. I never thought someone could stoop so low."

"I think every guy has tucked their genitalia between their legs to pretend they have a vagina. But I didn't know my girlfriend had been doing it for the past 3 years."

"What should we call this giant advertising board? PHIL: A philboard BILL: I have a better idea"

"My sister is THE clumsiest girl i know... She's always miscarrying."

"Excuses are like assholes... Fuck 'em"

"My mom is the healthiest person I know... She's been a vegetable her whole life."

"What happens when U change position too fast? You get an unpleasant vowel movement."

"What's the difference between a woman and a PC from 1995? A woman doesn't accept 3 1/2 inch floppies."

"I asked my doctor where to put my pants during my prostate exam. ""Over there next to mine"" was not the answer I expected."

"My wife & I couldn't agree on which psychic to go to. They were all sad and depressing. ""What did you do?"" We finally found a happy medium"