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Joke of the Day

"Excuses are like assholes... Fuck 'em"

Next Joke
 
"Why do Leprechauns laugh when they run? Because the grass tickles their balls."
"Did you hear about the scarecrow who won a Nobel Prize? He's out standing in his field."
"Yesterday, Iran asked the U.S. for an extension on disabling their nuclear program. When asked how much time they needed, they said, ""10, 9, 8..."""
"What date is it today? 2nd April. Ha!! April fool!"
"What do you call a disabled person during a zombie apocalypse? Meals on wheels..."
"Match dot com, but for socks."
"What is the difference between a sharply dressed man on a unicycle and a dully dressed man on a bicycle? A tire."
"Autocorrect has been around for centuries, I got mine when I married my wife."
"My wife has been around the block a few dozen times, if you know what I mean. She's a mail carrier."