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Joke of the Day

"What is a hipster's favorite element? Fe, because it's so ironic"

"What does 007 wear on his head? A Bondana."

"What did the lesbian vampire say to her girlfriend? See you next month!"

"What do you call cows that are best friends? Brovines."

"When I see a ""How am I driving?"" sticker, I want to take the driver in my arms and tell them that I too have questions about my existence"

"Prank Idea For The Ladies: Swallow a plastic dinosaur, then make an appointment to get an ultrasound."

"It is said that Bill Gates once farted in an Apple store which stank up the entire place. But after all, it's their fault for not having Windows."

"Did you guys hear about the fire at the circus? It was in tents."

"Calling in sick to work... Me: Im not gonna be able to make it to work today bossman I'm sick Boss: You don't sound sick...? Me: Well, I'm fucking my sister, IS THAT SICK ENOUGH FOR YOU"

"Folks are worried about global warming and social security, when the real crisis is that one day elderly drivers will know how to text."