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Joke of the Day

"I was interviewed today by a Far East Sultan to be a eunuch. He needs a eunuch to guard his harem of 365 women. What an ideal career!! Sadly, The Sultan told me I wasn't cut out for the job."

"Have you heard of the new resturant on the moon? Great food...but no atmosphere."

"The girl that cut my hair said ""Is there anything else I can do for you?"" and now I'm permanently banned from Famous Hair."

"How do farmers party? They *turnip* the *beets*. :/"

"Me: My computer broke IT guy: What have you tried so far? Me: Everything IT guy: Me: I shook the mouse a few times and did some swearing"

"Kids are like tornadoes They're neat to watch but you can't help but be scared when they head for your house"

"I wear my heart on my sleeve because if I wore it on my chest, it'd just get mustard stains on it."

"I will be tweeting telepathically today. So if you think of something funny, that was me."

"What did Shang Tsung say when he stole Liu Kang's shoes? Your sole is mine!"

"I just googled ""Tramp"" instead of ""Trump"" by mistake. I still got the information I needed."