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Joke of the Day

"My girlfriend told me that it was either her or my Meatloaf discography. I told her I would do anything for love, but I can't do that."

"Why are 1980 pennies worth more than 1979 pennies? (Dads joke) The same reason 10 pennies is worth more than 9."

"Why are jalapenos so annoying? Because they get jalapeno business."

"What do you call a homosexual on rollerskates? Rolaids!"

"If con is the opposite of pro... It must mean congress is the opposite of progress."

"Have you seen Stevie Wonder's new piano? Neither has he."

"A Jew, a Catholic and a colored boy go the heaven. Does anyone know the rest of this joke? Judge Schmels was telling it to the Bishop in caddyshack. And never told the punch line."

"If it's true that spiders are more scared of me than I am of them, why have I never seen a spider crawl away screaming like a little girl?"

"How much did the pirate pay to get his ears pierced? A buck 'n ear"

"Hello lamppost, whatcha knowin'? I come to watc-- Lamppost: Nice scarf princess."