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Joke of the Day

"What's the difference between a hippie girl and a can of beans? You would still eat the beans after a month in the woods"

"Where do boats go when they're sick? The Doc"

"My girlfriend is like my iPad i don't have an iPad."

"Did you hear that Elon Musk announced plans for a restaurant on the moon? He said we can count on good food but no atmosphere."

"Helen Keller walks into a bar Then into a chair Then into a table"

"Two guys walk into a bar The first one asks for h20. The second on asks for h20 too. The second guy dies."

"Why do spiders hate Area 51? It's a no-fly zone."

"Whoever invented work should have taugh it to masturbate so that it could do itself."

"[2 months into relationship] HER: you've changed ME: [proudly] showered, too"

"A beautiful woman is like the perfect shot of vodka Transparent, ice cold, and utterly tasteless."