123129

Joke of the Day

"Did you hear that Elon Musk announced plans for a restaurant on the moon? He said we can count on good food but no atmosphere."

"My friend is addicted to drinking brake fluids... but he tells me that he can stop any time."

"While you're busy staring at your phone flirting, your bored and neglected spouse is probably out fcuking someone else for real."

"Things I've learned as a mom: Kiss boo boo's. Say I love you a lot. Snuggle when they ask. Do laundry daily. Hide the good snacks."

"My boss knocked on my office door and asked if I had a sec... I told her I have lots of secs. Now I'm looking for a job."

"Q: Why did Mickey Mouse get shot? A: Because Donald ducked."

"Why is Monday so far from Friday, but Friday so close to Monday?"

"Did you hear about the alcoholic chemist that died? He just loved drinking PBr"

"The second grader was in bed with a cold and high temperature. 'How high is it Doctor?' she wanted to know. 'One hundred and three' said the doctor. 'What is the world record?'"

"What did the porn star wear to court? Birthday suit"