57633

Joke of the Day

"Pokemon Go Run errands with your mom."

"[Bank robbery] *Other robbers jump into getaway van* ""DRIVE! DRIVE! DRIVE!"" ""Okie dokie."" * Starts to adjust mirrors*"

"Why did God give man a penis? So they'd have at least one way to shut a woman up."

"Two old ladies are sitting on a park bench A man walks up in a trenchcoat and flashes them. The first lady has a stroke, the second lady couldn't quite reach."

"Eminem made $3.3 mil for 2 concerts over the weekend. Can't WAIT to hear his next album, about how shitty his life is"

"Everyone's always talking about our forefathers... I'm pretty sure there were more than that."

"Wait. Those Nigerian girls are still missing?? What about that really cool hashtag we made? They didn't free them when they saw it??"

"BLIND DINOSAUR Q: What do you call a blind dinosaur? A: Do-you-think-he-saur-us."

"Did you hear about the redditor who had a girlfriend?"

"DR DOG: The test results came back. PATIENT: Oh God DR DOG: The tumor is-- *sees a squirrel out the window and takes off*"