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Joke of the Day

"Got an e-mail today from a ""bored housewife 34, looking for some action!"", so I sent her my ironing, that'll keep her busy."

"How many flies does it take to screw in a light bulb? 2 and I have no idea how they got in there!"

"YOU WANNA PIECE OF THIS!?!?! ~me, aggressively handing out cake"

"Nine years ago today 19 men came to my doorstep expecting 72 virgins. Little did they know how fucked they were going to be."

"Did you hear about the proctologist who had a car accident? It rectum."

"My dad just asked me if Nicki Minaj is claymation. Didn't have an answer."

"My sister had a baby today. I think I've used that as an excuse to get out of more stuff this week than she has."

"Why so serious? A lady asked me if I thought she was wearing to much makeup. I told her it depends ... on whether she was trying to kill Batman or not."

"Where the woman's neck ends the infinity begins."

"Is it racist if a guy with a small dick calls it his ding dong?"