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Joke of the Day

"Why so serious? A lady asked me if I thought she was wearing to much makeup. I told her it depends ... on whether she was trying to kill Batman or not."

"I put my earbuds on just like everybody else. Frantically as someone approaches."

"An apple a day will keep anyone away if you throw it hard enough"

"What do you get a body builder for Christmas? A dictionary, so they get plenty of definition."

"Why did Suzie fall down the stairs? I pushed her"

"Why do pens get sent to prison ? To do long sentences !"

"I have constipation. ..I don't give a shit."

"What did the old man get for his birthday? Cancer."

"Give a man a jacket and he can leave the house during Winter. Teach a man to jack it and he'll never leave the house."

"I'd tell you a cow joke... But it would be UTTERly horrible."