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Joke of the Day

"Give a man a fish, and you'll feed him for a day... Give him a religion and he'll starve to death while praying for a fish."

"[NSFW] If abortion is a kill..... If abortion is a kill then jerking off is a massacre"

"Difference between a 4 year old and a nightclub? I don't need a bottle of lube to get into a nightclub."

"Top Seven Things Men Don't See Coming: 7. Plot twists 6. Police cruiser 5. Love 4. Trash day 3. Health issues 2. Her reaction 1. That"

"What is a name for a female lawyer? Sue"

"What do you get when you cross an elephant with a rhino? 'ell if I know"

"I told my wife my secret to losing 50 pounds in 1 minute. I buy everyone a round at the pub."

"A wise man once said... ""If you make a woman laugh, you've half-undressed her."" However, if you half-undress and she laughs, that's a different thing altogether."

"My ex is so slutty... that if she had sex with a guy with Ebola, he would die of AIDS first."

"- Doc, how did you know that I have high blood pressure? - You make mosquitoes explode!"