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Joke of the Day

"A member of the Army Corps of Engineers was working on the design of the bottom of an android ""What exactly is going on?"", I asked. He replied, ""A Major engineering feet."""

"Under communism, every man has what he needs. That's why the butcher puts a sign up that says: *""nobody needs meat today.""*"

"How many activists does it take to screw in a lightbulb? None, because they can't change anything."

"All phones can be categorized into two groups You have the iPhones, then you have the good phones."

"It's 27 outside. Oh great, even the weather is younger and cooler than me now."

"*sends you a pic of a kitten* *you reply, ""Awe""* *face melts* *responds, ""We've been over this already, it's ""Aww""* *deletes your number*"

"I don't get why everyone talks so fast in old movies. What was the hurry? There was nothing to do back then."

"What the difference between a catholic priest and a pimple? Pimples wait until puberty to come on your face."

"Why is leather armor the best for sneaking? Because it's made of hide"

"There's a gay rights group suing the tobacco companies. Because they only sell straight-cut chew."