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Joke of the Day

"A bear walks into a bar. He says to the bartender ""I'll have a gin...and tonic."" Bartender says ""OK, but why the pause?"" ""I was born with them."""

"Ahh Summer. The season for confusing unattractive girls with hot girls because of oversized sunglasses."

"Whats the difference between a Pygmy and an Amazon? Well, the Pygmy is a cunning runt..."

"TIL: Captain Hook ran an entire pirate ship. He did it single handedly too. He was a bit out of breath afterwards though."

"You should feel pretty honoured if I subtweet you. But the tweet you think is about you, probably isn't. Twitter's hard. Get a helmet."

"What do you call a gay person in a wheelchair chair? Rollaids"

"You can titillate an ocelot if you... ...oscillate its tit a lot!"

"Electing Trump would really strengthen our dollar Sincerely, Canada"

"How was Snoop Dogg murdered? Blunt force trauma."

"How to tell an Irishman from a Scotsman on St. Patrick's day? One wants to stay drunk all the time and the other doesn't want to pay the tab."