35255

Joke of the Day

"To the Engineer To the optimist, the glass is half full. To the pessimist, the glass is half empty. To the engineer, the glass is twice as big as it needs to be."

Next Joke
 
"How is Bud Light like sex on the beach? they're both fucking close to water"
"I'm glad i know sign language It's pretty handy"
"Why did the Boston Marathon runner collapse before finishing the race? (WTF?) His thighs were burning too bad."
"I work at my stepfather's store. You think your boss is an asshole? Mine fucks my mom. - Cole Y."
"heard this one today what's Michel Obama's favorite vegetable? Barackoli!"
"Hi, I'm Captain Morgan and this is my uptight brother, J.P."
"Got my dad today nope nevermind, he ran away again"
"Both Christmas and New Years fell on a weekend this year, which had to suck for the four or five of you that still have jobs."
"Any one remembers 'The Game' ? Now I'll fly away."