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Joke of the Day

"When life gives you lemons, wish that life had given you something to make a more original aphorism."

"When is a mountain goat not a mountain goat? When he's a hillbilly."

"I'm trying get a job as a geometry teacher... Because I want to make at least 6 figures."

"What does a hairstylist call their resume? A tresume."

"Why do elephants where pink shoes? To hide in the grass. Have you ever seen an elephant with pink shoes? No? Good hiders, aren't they?"

"Why did Helen Keller masturbate with one hand? So she could moan with the other."

"What's the difference between your PC and your Penis? Usually its small, used often and you dont let just ANYONE touch it."

"Knock, knock Who's there? I eat map. I eat map, who? *Ewwwww.*"

"Why do the Irish wear kilts? Because sheep can hear a zipper a mile away."

"Saturday night is for moaning My name. Sunday morning is for chanting it."