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Joke of the Day

"I don't believe Africans poach rhinos. They don't have enough water to fill a pan that size."

"Concerning the absence of toilet paper, there should be complaint books laid out at publicly used places."

"My favourite part about amazingly hot, energetic, passionate sex. Is being able to rewind the tape & watch it again."

"There are 10 kinds of people... Those who understand ternary notation, those who don't and those who thought this would be a binary joke. Credits to /u/johnnybenude"

"I hate being happy because it makes my tweets suck."

"8yo: Do we have a fire extinguisher? Me: Yes. 8yo: Where? Me:... 8yo: WHERE! 6yo: (from outside) It's spreading. Me: I'm up."

"Good for Christian Bale, visiting the victims of the Aurora, Colorado massacre. I heard some of them even got to meet Heath Ledger."

"Received a call from a recruitment consultant. She said to me: ""Sir I have two openings for you...!"" I replied : Yes. I know .There was a long silence and then she hung up."

"What's the funniest type of Mexican food? Fajitahahahas"

"Wait. I'm not cool cuz I'm home on a weekend night? You mean my home I own? With no landlord, neighbors or...parents? Wow, I'm such a loser."