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Joke of the Day

"There are 10 kinds of people... Those who understand ternary notation, those who don't and those who thought this would be a binary joke. Credits to /u/johnnybenude"

"How did Darth Vader know what Obi-Wan Kenobi was getting for Christmas? He felt his presents."

"Ask yourself what you would do for one more day with the ones you've lost and then do those things for the ones you still have."

"How much for the sentient racist skeleton? ""Sir, that's Ann Coulter..."""

"TWITTER: something just isn't clicking here HORDE OF RACIST EGGS: [cacophony of immoral filth] TWITTER: eliminate the looping video service"

"Why did the melon leave her boyfriend? He said he can't elope."

"Thanks for telling me this is your ""pet cat"" because otherwise I might have thought it was your business associate cat."

"After their meal of rawmen and a cup of joe, what do cannibals use to freshen their breath? MenToes"

"My 6 year old nephew is legitimately pissed off that there is no actual monkey in the monkey bread."

"I'm officially putting my GPA up for adoption... I just can't raise it myself [joke credit to the girl I overheard say it in the library] Edit: apparently its from yikyak?"