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Joke of the Day

"*makes direct eye contact with an vaginas* what in the fuck kind of a boobs are this"

"In my old age I may have developed alzheimer's But at least I don't have alzheimer's."

"Only when a mosquito lands on your balls do you realize That violence is not always the option"

"Did you hear about a reddit user creating a new website? He wanted the name to remind him of the time when 4chan users went to 8chan. So in light of the circumstances he named it regreddit.com"

"My wife said she'd leave me if I didn't stop eating Pasta Now I'm feeling cannelloni"

"how do you catch a unique cat? unique up on it. (im sorry)"

"You can now experience skydiving without a parachute! It's a once in a lifetime opportunity!"

"[flirting at Taco Bell] Trouble opening that sauce packet? Let me help. [seconds later] Let me help you get that sauce out of your hair."

"I am holding a pre-mature ejaculation club meeting next week Needless to say, You need to come early"

"Everyone always makes fun of my man purse until I bust out a bottle of wine, a bag of weed, a bong, milk, cookies and a cheese platter."