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Joke of the Day

"Everyone always makes fun of my man purse until I bust out a bottle of wine, a bag of weed, a bong, milk, cookies and a cheese platter."

"Who gets the most ass in college? The chair"

"Did you hear about the American Indian who died from drinking too much tea? He drowned in his own tepee!"

"I once asked a Frenchman if he plays video games. He responded, ""Oui."" I told him Xbox is better."

"What do you call a black man who flies a plane? A pilot you racist."

"Two guys are on a boat with three cigarettes but nothing to light it with. What do they do? They throw one cigarette overboard and the whole boat becomes a cigarette lighter."

"Oh, I'm sorry. I didn't realize you were an expert on my life and how I should live it. Please continue while I take notes."

"Did you know that yeast cells are incestuous? They're in-bread."

"Why did the polar bear join the terrorist group. Because that is where the ISIS."

"As a lubricated finger was pushed into my anus, I couldn't help but think... That this wasn't any ordinary vet."