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Joke of the Day
"The past, present, and future walk into a bar.. It was tense."
Next Joke
"7yo: mommy you smell like beer. Me: well, you smell like a bad idea that your dad and I thought could fix our marriage....now go to bed."
"For $60, this printer ink had better be hand squeezed out of endangered squids."
"You haven't mastered the Art of Twitter, until you can subtweet yourself, while everyone else thinks it's about them"
"Who has one thumb and survived a band saw accident? This guy!!!"
"*tree falls in forest, quickly stands up and looks around to see if anybody heard it, brushes self off*"
"My 1 yr old only says the words ""no,"" ""mine,"" and ""bye"" and I tried it out and it turns out that's actually all you need."
"What do you call a German grocery store that carries everything but fish? Not Sea Food."
"I said to the porn producer I couldn't take any more dick... So I got the sack."
"Test joke I was gonna tell a gay joke butt fuck it"