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Joke of the Day

"For $60, this printer ink had better be hand squeezed out of endangered squids."

"Here's a joke about my senior year of college. I tried."

"Why do women have legs? Have you seen the mess snails make?"

"Why did Pinocchio's nose get longer? Because he told his wife he cheated on her."

"i love working at the post office at the north pole and ripping up white children's letters to santa claus"

"HEY GUYS I'M AT NXNE! WHERE THE HELL IS EVERYBODY?"

"I put the D in Fucking because I know that's what you really want. -autocorrect"

"Someone just posted an article on Facebook and said ""file this under sad."" WAS I SUPPOSED TO BE FILING EVERYTHING"

"ME: Velma cant see anything without her glasses, so in order to find her glasses, she needs to be wearing them PRIEST: Those are your vows?"

"What do LotR and Brokeback Mountain have in common? Someone's ring gets broken."