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Joke of the Day

"Sometimes you have to put your phone down and take a look at what's around you.. And wonder how you drove your car into a swimming pool."

"When I was 18, I wanted to buy a brand new motorbike, but my mother forbid it. She explained that she had a brother who died in a motorbike crash when he was 18, and so I could have his instead."

"How do Indian chiefs send messages? By teepee-mail!"

"When I bring a girl back to my bedroom, I tell her ""this is where the magic happens"", then I pull a rabbit out of a hat."

"I can't believe I just stopped a girl from being rapped. I got tired and stopped chasing her."

"My kids teach frat boys how to trash houses."

"TIFU by trying to be witty at the airport... The TSA confiscated my protein powder asking ""Are you planning on building any bombs with this substance?"" I replied ""No, only guns."""

"My girlfriend attended a 3 day course on ""How Not to talk on the phone"" but missed the beginning. She mistook the course to be ""How to talk on the phone."""

"Clones. Clones are people two."

"Knock Knock Who's there ! Boiler ! Boiler who ? Boiler egg for four minutes !"