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Joke of the Day

"I think the bigger issue with our country is that Paula Deen even had that many endorsements to lose in the 1st place."

"I went for a run today. What the hell is wrong with you people why would you do this to yourself you need help."

"I like my coffee like I like my women. Strong and Bitter"

"Won't do that again Got arrested at the airport last week. Apparently, security doesn't appreciate it when you call ""shotgun"" before boarding a plane."

"what do you tell a woman with two black eyes? Nothing. You told her twice already... "

"Who are all these people Twitter wants me to follow? Has the fail whale been stalking me. Help, stranger danger!"

"At first I wondered why the ball was getting closer. Then it hit me."

"LPT: Never take advice from people on Reddit. Not even this."

"If you put your ear up to a vagina... you can smell the ocean."

"If you throw a stick of butter out the window what would you call it? A Butterfly!"