165757

Joke of the Day

"I went for a run today. What the hell is wrong with you people why would you do this to yourself you need help."

"No arms no legs What do you call a Mexican prostitute who has no arms and no le/"

"All it took was a skirt and one strong gust of wind and all of a sudden, my spirit animal is Hello Kitty."

"Windows - the only operating system that is compatible with all viruses."

"My burrito brings all the boys to the yard and they're like, ""Careful,everything is falling out from the other side."""

"Who me? Oh I'm just waiting for my husband to apologize for something I did wrong...marriage is fun"

"What do you call 1000 soldiers with no legs? An army."

"What is simultaneously the best and sh*ttiest way to start your day? Pooping"

"What do you call a Chicken with lettuce on its eyes? Chicken Caesar salad."

"ME: honey, it's really muggy out today WIFE: if I go outside & all our mugs are on the front lawn, I'm leaving u ME: *sips coffee from bowl*"