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Joke of the Day

"If you throw a stick of butter out the window what would you call it? A Butterfly!"

"I just slept 8 hours straight Then another 2 hours gay"

"A homosexual, a Pedophile and a Priest walk into a bar The bartender asked him what he would like to drink."

"Must suck to see your ex getting married. I wouldn't know, all mine have died in mysterious, firey car crashes."

"I do really well on Jeopardy. I get all the answers, every one of them, almost instantly. I do, however, have a lot of trouble coming up with the questions."

"What did they call Fireman Sam after he retired? ""That fat, selfish faggot that chose the pension over saving our lives."""

"MISSED CONNECTION: I was the customer. You were the cable guy. You said you'd be here by 5 but you never came you piece of shit I'm gonna fi"

"What did the creationist student say when asked why he didn't have his homework on natural selection? My dogma ate it."

"the women in tampon commercials should switch places with the women in antidepressant commercials"

"Whoever made the almond-milk carton the exact same shape as the chicken-broth carton should have to eat this cereal."