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Joke of the Day

"Who is Joseph Kony's favorite rapper? Soulja Boy"

"An employee texts his boss ""What's the difference between this morning and your daughter...?"" (Slightly nsfw) His boss answers ""I don't know."" The employee replies ""I'm not coming in this morning!"""

"Nothing like listening to old school rap on the way to the office to make you want to smack a bitch."

"Mob Boss: I need you to smoke this guy. Me: Ok, that takes 8-12 hours for a turkey though. Mb: I don't care just get it done."

"damn demi, your rap battle opponent didn't even try to diss your clothes. what's your secret. [camera pans out to show all-orange outfit]"

"I'm at my most ""penguin"", when I'm walking to get more toilet paper with my shorts around my ankles."

"The closest I've come to a threesome is watching my wife and the nurse roll their eyes at the same time while I'm getting weighed."

"My wife and I were happy for twenty years. Then we met."

"How many hipsters does it take to screw in a lightbulb? It's a really obscure number, you've probably never heard of it"

"I would've gotten away with it too if it wasn't for that group of sexually repressed potheads who kept talking to their great dane."