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Joke of the Day

"Nothing like listening to old school rap on the way to the office to make you want to smack a bitch."

"Tell 'em how it 'tis, not how it 'twas: Edition 2. The joke used to be ""If ya lick 'er, it's quicker"". Now it's: ""If y'ignore 'er, ya score 'er."""

"[at therapist] I don't know, sometimes I just feel invisible Therapist: WHO SAID THAT?!?"

"Once I saw a ghost... It looked like your dick"

"So my husband asked me if I anted a boob job... I replied ""How much does it pay?"""

"I have an intense fear of hiccups Luckily, I only ever have one."

"Did you hear about the farmer who was a heroin addict? He had to quit in the end, because he couldn't find a needle in a haystack."

"If Bill Gates had a penny for every time I had to reboot my computer ...oh wait, he does."

"I went to the library and asked if they had the book about tiny penises... The librarian said, ""I don't think it's in yet."" I said, ""Yes, that's the one."""

"Why should sailors eat crabapples? For the vitamin sea."