53964

Joke of the Day

"A robber walks into a bakery, and pulls out a gun. ""Give me the dough!"""

"*pulls up pants* Oh, you said ANNUAL review. Well, this is embarrassing. But just for reference, how'd I do?"

"It's 2012 and we still don't serve all food in a bread bowl."

"Girl: I dumped my last boyfriend cause he always gave short answers. I never knew what he was thinking. That's so annoying, right? Me: Word"

"What do you call an agreeable neighbor? ....a yaybor."

"2 pedophiles are chilling on the beach, one says to the other... Hey can you get out of my son"

"Writing a book titled ""Understanding women"". The first page will have a real knife & the rest will show you different ways to kill yourself."

"I've been retracing my steps and now I have all these outlines of feet on my floor and still no keys."

"Mumford & Sons! It's your cousin, Marvin. Marvin & Sons. You know that new sound you're looking for? *holds phone to a boiling pot of water*"

"The Muffin Joke Two muffins were sitting in an oven. One turned to the other and said ""Hey, it's pretty hot in here, isn't it?"" The other turned and shouted ""Oh my god a talking muffin!"""