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Joke of the Day

"Frankly, my dear, I don't give a DM."

"I'm not drunk. I'm a gravity inspector... ...and everything seems to be in order here. *falls down/passes out*"

"How do you make an archeologist mad? Give them a bloody tampon and ask what period it's from"

"A man with a gun shot his keyboard it typed POW"

"What did one tampon say to the other when they passed each other on the street? Nothing. They were both stuck up bitches."

"I don't throw gang signs. I'm Scottish. I throw bricks :)"

"The NFL has got some messed up rules Kill some dogs, go to jail, then come on back and play. But say the ""N"" word ...... You in big trouble sucka"

"How do you cheer up a brand new battery? Remind him that he's full of untapped potential!"

"Listen, you should really give your mother a call. She's concerned that ""the haters"" in her Zumba class are organizing and gaining power."

"Why does Ellen Pao play so much tennis? Its the only place she can get love."