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Joke of the Day

"I doubt Vodka is the answer, but it's worth a shot"

"Did you know that half of all Harleys ever made are still on the road? Yep, they never made it home."

"Started as a twitter crush, moved on to twitter boyfriend, now he's my twitter husband. Honeymooning on Google+ so we can be alone."

"What is green and smells like bacon? Kermit's fingers"

"I can walk up to any dog, rub its butt and make a friend. That trick only works about half the time on people."

"Ladies, if you don't want to answer a question from a guy, say, ""I already TOLD you. You never listen."" We have no idea if you're lying."

"Down with the metric system No more foreign rulers!"

"What's brown and sticky? A stick"

"how do you know asians have broken into your home? the dog is gone, the homework is done and they're still trying to get out of the driveway"

"Why didn't the two worms get on Noah's Ark in an apple ? Because everyone had to go on in pairs !"