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Joke of the Day

"Started as a twitter crush, moved on to twitter boyfriend, now he's my twitter husband. Honeymooning on Google+ so we can be alone."

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"Top Four Signs of Job Security: 4. Promotions and raises 3. Specialized skills 2. Top producer 1. Compromising photos of the boss"
"I only wear adult diapers for 2 reasons #1 and #2"
"What does a preverted frog say? Rubbit."
"What does the horny scientist call a lobotomy? Getting head"
"What's the definition of Eternity? The time between when I come, and you go."
"Just put 3 sugar cubes in my tea, and by sugar, I mean xanax, because sugar is really bad for you.."
"Why did the Chicken Cross The Road?"
"When an episode of Walker Texas Ranger was aired in France, the French surrendered to Chuck Norris just to be on the safe side."
"I sleep naked because I want burglars to feel weird."