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Joke of the Day

"Why didn't the two worms get on Noah's Ark in an apple ? Because everyone had to go on in pairs !"

"**I am undecided about abortion** On the one hand I support it because it is killing children. On the other, it gives women a choice."

"What's a redditors favorite governing body? The Fedoral Government."

"You're just like my little toe, because I'm going to bang you on every piece of furniture in my home."

"6: Dad what's a Kardashian? Me: Nobody really knows... 6: Sounds really stupid Me: I love you"

"A man lovingly told his fiance ""I don't have a big house or a yacht like my friend, Harry, but I will love you forever."" She replied, ""Oh, yeah. I love you too. Now, who's this Harry?!"""

"I always say ""morning"" instead of ""good morning"". If it were a good morning I'd still be in bed instead of talking to people."

"Two kinds of lairs when it comes to masturbation ... Those that say they never have ... ...And those that say they quit ."

"Dear Apple, Sorry to hear that you're still figuring out how cell phones work."

"What do you get when you cross an elephant and a rhino? (Say it out) An elephino!"