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Joke of the Day

"Knock Knock Who's there ! Carrie ! Carrie who ? Carrie a torch !"

"I raised the alarm at work today. The midgets were all furious."

"PMS: I'm sorry. ME: Why? It's a good day. PMS: Wait for it. ME: [2 secs later] DID MY PARENTS REALLY TAKE MY DOG TO A FARM WHEN I WAS 5?!"

"Why doesn't the sun need to go to University? He's too bright."

"Such a hassle that you have to rob a skier before you can rob a 7-Eleven"

"Why do you never play hide & seek with mountains? Mountains peak."

"*throws goods on conveyor belt* Cashier: is that all sir? Me:""Nope. You got change for a trophy?"""

"I recently started my new job at the zoo circumcizing elephants... The pay isn't great, but the tips are huge."

"My wife thinks it's sexy when she bites her lip. But I haven't had the heart to tell her it's supposed to be the bottom lip."

"Intelligence is like an underwear. It is important that you have it, but not necessary that you show it off."