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Joke of the Day

"Intelligence is like an underwear. It is important that you have it, but not necessary that you show it off."

"I wrote a theatrical performance on puns Really, it was just a play on words."

"*mugger snatching Elsa's purse Elsa: LET IT GO! Mugger: LET IT GO! Elsa: CANT HOLD IT BACK ANYMORE! Mugger: LET IT GO! Elsa: LET IT GO!"

"My password is ""weak?"" Well your password recovery security question is soft as shit. The city I was born in? Ask me why my mom left my dad."

"There was a convention for lazy-eyed bachelors and bachelorettes. There was a massive turn out: Most of them ended with a perfect mate.... You could say that their eyes crossed in a crowded room."

"Two goldfish are alone in a tank, One says to the other one, ""have any idea how to drive this thing?"""

"How do you ""titty fuck"" a seven-year old? Break her shoulders"

"Standing next to an attractive woman in the elevator. I turned to her and asked politely if I could smell her pussy. Bristling, she snapped ""NO, you can't!"" Oh, I said, ""It must be your feet then."""

"The Pythagorean Theorem, Newton's Third Law and Bernoulli's Principle walk into a bar. The bartender says, ""I'm not going to get this joke aren't I?"""

"Why did the polish navy start putting glass floors on their boats? So every time they went out to sea, they could look at their old ships."