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Joke of the Day

"I raised the alarm at work today. The midgets were all furious."

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"It's so cold in south florida, I just saw an iguana kill a squirrel and use it as a scarf."
"A man tried to sell me a coffin today I told him that was the last thing I needed."
"Bartender, I'd like you to bring that brunette at the end of the bar a slice of your finest ham."
"God said to John, ""Come forth and recieve eternal life."" But John came fifth, and received a toaster instead."
"Fish I've got a great pet fish. I called him home. He is an absolutely wonderful fish! You might even say there's no plaice like home!"
"This is by far the most pointless Tweet ever."
"I like my women like I like my coffee, I can't afford coffee"
"What did the silkworm comment on the message board? ""This thread is shit."""
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