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Joke of the Day

"Little girl: ""Mommy, I want to be a feminist when I grow up."" Mom: ""Well pick one sweetie, you can't do both."""

"My wife was happy when I told her a put a load in the dishwasher... Until 9 months later when Consuela's baby came out looking just like me!"

"Yo Mama... Yo mama so old and so fat that when she sat down, they called it the Cambrian mass extinction."

"Why did the Xbox One eat its cereal for breakfast, but not its pancakes? It had the spoon, but not the 4k."

"*buys soap on a rope Cashier: Paper or plastic? Me: Neither.. I'll wear it out thanks"

"Boxed In There was a young girl from Peru Who filled her vagina with glue. She said with a grin, ""If they pay to get in, They'll pay to get out of it, too."""

"how many mice do you need to screw in a light bulb? just 2. The hard part is getting them into the light bulb."

"If Bruce Jenner goes missing tonight, will they put his face on a carton of half n half?"

"Me: ""This Chardonnay is so nice, I can really taste the oaky undertones"" ""Sir those are just chunks of cork from opening it with your keys"""

"Once you go black..... You can't get credit"