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Joke of the Day
"Give a man a fish, and he eats for a day... Teach a Nigerian to phish and he'll become a prince."
Next Joke
"To ease tension in crowded elevators I yell ""George Lopez is a comedic genius!"" Then I get stabbed with a box cutter & I dont have insurance"
"Jeb Bush Unanimously Confirmed by Senate for Secretary of Low Energy."
"*opens briefcase and presentation about 9/11 conspiracies falls out* But that means [cut to my son giving presentation about cool dinosaurs]"
"How do you differentiate a basic bitch from a bad bitch? You pour phenolphthalein on her and watch it turn pink."
"If crime doesn't pay... ... than you're doing it wrong."
"You have the perfect face for radio."
"A man using Apple Maps walks into a bar... Or a hospital.... Or possibly a church."
"the best thing about the moon is that it doesn't have any sports"
"Two deer walk out of a gay bar... (Self-Repost) ...One turns to the other and says ""I can't believe I just blew 30 bucks in there!""."