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Joke of the Day

"[flirting w/girl at bar] And that's why [takes sip from elephant sippy cup] I always use a sippy cup [lid falls off and spills juice on me]"

"how do you get a dog to stop humping your leg?? pick it up and suck its dick"

"I have exponential spelling but terrible malapropism"

"What's the difference between young girls and photographs? After putting them in a dark room, you have to wait for the photograph to fully develop."

"What do you call it when your diarrhea finally goes away? Gonorrhea."

"I know they don't recommend ibuprofen during pregnancy but I needed something for the hangovers."

"My bear's diarrhoea problems are starting to worry me. The vet says he's getting better but he's not out of the woods yet."

"Why was 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 ate 9. 7 also got herpes from 14 and stabbed 23 through 30 in a gang fight."

"How do ghosts become friends? They bond over boos. I made this up while sleep-deprived last night. I am sorry."

"I have now stolen 56 copies of the board game ""Risk"" from local retailers. When they eventually catch me, I'll say ""Life is all about taking Risks."""